She's Got Your Eyes
by Katsy0c0
Summary: Annie Leonhardt learns in more ways than one that actions have consequences. No matter how long after the fact. Canonverse/Canon-Divergence. Slight spoilers up to chapter 77.
1. Prologue

With him, Annie couldn't help but be a little selfish.

She had Armin pinned by the wrists, his back against the dirt as he squirmed and fussed to gain back some leverage. Well, whatever little bit he had to begin with. Annie sparred with him knowing she had the clear physical upperhand. He wasn't like Eren. Or Mikasa, for that matter. His strength was in his mind, not his body.

Though she did enjoy getting to touch that as well.

Hand to hand combat training was possibly the furthest thing from either of their minds. Not when her knee rested between his legs, pushed up against his crotch with no signs of letting up.

"You're a tease," Armin hissed through his teeth with a playful smile at his lips. "You keep this up and I won't hesitate to throw you on the ground."

"You're not making much of an effort to, tiger."

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't like you on top of me." He groaned a bit as her knee shifted up against him harder. "I really would love to flip you over and lift your hips up in the air. Maybe shove my tongue up-"

"Sh-Shhh. Armin, you and your filthy mouth." Her knee moved back, and she reveled in the distress that morphed his faced. "You need only say the word, Armin, and all this torture could end."

She began to whisper, leaning over as to let her lips brush against his increasingly red ear. Armin melted into the touch, biting back a whimper.

"I won't give in."

"Is this really a battle that's so bad to lose?" Annie grabbed his wrist, stealing the knife from his hands. As she pushed her knee up, she stuck the wooden blade against his neck. "You can take me and sneak off anywhere, hm?"

Armin growled low as he tilted his head back, shamefully feeling the constriction in his pants twitch. She was dragging the fake dagger down his throat, and he could've sworn she was rutting against his thigh. "Never. I won't give in to you, no matter how crazy you drive me, I won't."

She bit her lip. In truth, she was getting increasingly impatient. Annie could feel him against her leg. Taking in an audible gulp, she looked around for any wandering eyes. _Of course everyone's distracted._ Despite her best judgement, she leaned down, pressing her lips against his exposed neck.

He let out a gasping sigh, and let the grin slip over his cheeks. "Feeling risky, are we?" He asked just above a whisper as he shifted his thigh up, watching as Annie shifted against his leg. He could feel the friction of her pants against her core, and the thought made him shudder. "God, I just want to suck at you until you can't walk-"

Annie's free hand found his crotch in an instant. She palmed the clothed area, holding very little back as she gave him a tight squeeze.

"What was that? How rare of you to stop talking so suddenly."

Armin bit down hard on his lip while he pushed his hips up into her hand. "You, fff-uck, You won't be able to stand when I'm done with you. I'm gonna- _Hnnnnghh_ \- "

"You're gonna have to speak up, tiger. I'm having a little trouble understanding you over all those moans."

"God, fffuck you, I hate when you do this- Hnnnngh, Annie, please- ahnnnghhh!"

"Aw, do you hate me right now? I'm hurt." She pressed a kiss against his ear, a smile pulling at her lips.

Armin slid his hands into hers as he took his hand to her side, and pulled her in closer. "You better stop testing me, I won't give in."

"One of us will have to." She teased, leaning in closer to his lips before that sweet moment was ripped away from her.

The sound of a pistol went off in the near distance. A familiar sound, informing the recruits that the exercise for the day was over. With a sigh, Annie sat up.

"Next time, I suppose, Arlert." She was quick to compose herself, making it seem as if their position and red faces were the results of intense hand-to-hand combat training on a rather hot Summer day. She got up, and put a hand out to hoist Armin back onto his feet as well. "You're improving. I think you almost tripped me up a couple times."

"I appreciate it, but I know it wasn't based on actual physical skill I possess. I know it's because you go weak when I touch you."

"Shhhhut up, Arlert."

"Why? It's true. That's why your thighs are all clenched up." He leaned to her to whisper slowly in her ear. "I wonder how soaked you are right now. How much noise my cock driving into you would make-"

"Armin." Annie hissed, darting her eyes away from him.

He bit back his laugh, and vaguely listened to Shadis' words. They were released for the day, and Armin relaxed. Annie stuffed her hands into the pocket of her hoodie, trying her best to stay close yet just far enough from Armin as the group of cadets walked toward their respective barracks. As soon as Armin watched the last boy walk into the room, he closed the door quietly, and snuck around the back. His back pressed against the wood, and he tapped his foot impatiently. He was eager, and he bit down on his lip trying not to pay too close attention to his throbbing erection constricted in his pants.

Annie stood on the other side of the little cabin, wringing her hands together as her heart beat out of her chest.

 _Why do I keep doing this…?_ Butterflies burst in her stomach as she walked forward, slowly seeing the boyish face of Armin Arlert come into 're selfish. _You know this isn't right._

"You look like you're waiting for someone. People might get suspicious, Arlert."

"Say I was waiting for someone, do you think people would actually question what I choose to do? Or, well, who , I choose to do." He laughed at himself as he pulled her in close by her waist. His hands pushed her against the wall, and he pulled on his lower lip with his teeth. His hands slid around her back, dipping under her pants to squeeze.

A smile pulled at her lips. Before she could even think, she leaned forward and captured him in a kiss. Her arms wrapped around his neck, and his teeth caught her lip. The breath she had been holding caught in her throat as his tongue teased her, and she happily let him take control of her mouth.

"So are you going to get back at me? Hm?" She parted for only a second, nudging her nose against his before pulling him into another kiss.

"Hmm. You'll see. I have a few things up my sleeve." Armin murmured in her ear as his hand slid around to slide up her shirt. His hand moved to squeeze and palm her breast in his hand as he kissed down her neck. "I'll get my revenge. You'll see."

She tilted her head back, smiling as chills ran up her spine. He always knew where to find her sweet spots, and it never failed to drive her crazy in all the best ways. _I only have two months left of this._

"Armin-" She gasped out in a breathy moan. "Someone will hear if we stay here."

"Mm… You're right. Such a shame that I'm not allowed to make you scream right here. Hmmm…" The bell sounded for dinner, and Armin rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Option one: We go eat dinner. Option two: I finger you right here and now and we have at each other for the next few hours. Which?"

Her stomach answered for her with a low growl.

"Can I...would your friends throw a fit if I sat with you guys?"

"I don't think so! Eren might pester you with questions about your technique, and Mikasa might get a bit jealous, but they wouldn't mind. Mikasa sorta figured out about us… doing things. You left a huge mark on me. She noticed… I'm bad under that pressure… She's scary sometimes." He scratched the back of his neck, snickering nervously as Annie smiled against his lips.

"Understood. Luckily, she doesn't scare me." She pressed a kiss against his neck, taking the skin between her teeth in order to leave a bright mark. "Oops."

Armin whimpered at the feeling of her mouth on him, and he growled low in response. "You know, if you weren't so hungry right now I'd be having my way with you up against this wall. You'd be so sore…."

"Such harsh words from such a cute face." She leaned over and stole one more kiss before pushing off. "And people think you're so cute? Well, you are, but still."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, I'm pure." He laughed as he shooed her into the cafeteria. He took his plate of food and sat at the table across from Mikasa. Eren was sitting at his side, and Annie slowly moved next to Mikasa. Armin beamed at her, and he felt his heart pound. _How can one person be so damn cute? God, Annie. I'm in love with you._

He couldn't help but keep his eyes on hers as they ate. However, he hadn't been expecting Annie's socked foot to run up his leg. He choked on his water, and coughed into his napkin, earning pats from Eren's back. His eyes were wide as he gave Annie a nervous look.

The grin he received in response only caused the hairs on the back of his neck rise up. Ohh.

Annie moved her foot up between his legs, which he eagerly spread open for her.

Oh lord, was it good for her anxiety. She pressed her foot against his crotch, laughing softly at his quiet little keens. Keeping herself occupied, the others didn't try so hard to make conversation with her.

Plus, Armin's increasingly red face and bashful gaze brought another genuine smile to her face. Not to mention how hot it made her feel under the collar of her hoodie. She pressed the ball of her foot against his concealed sack, and the feeling of Armin's hips pressing into her foot only made her snicker.

"What are you laughing at, Annie?"

Her head snapped up at the sound of Eren's voice, cheeks growing increasingly red as her face remained as stone as it could.

"Nothing." She answered low and blunt, leaning forward on her elbows as she met Mikasa's suspicious stare.

Armin's attention was still on the pressing matter (foot) at hand (well, crotch.) He rut against the arch of her foot slightly as he swallowed the groan in his throat. _You damn tease._

It was that moment, where Armin realized he was about to release. His abdomen tightened, and Armin's breathing became rushed and forced. He came then, against the ball of her foot, with a crimson face, and drooped eyelids.

"Armin, are you alright? You seem flushed." Mikasa's voice was flooding with concern, but he didn't miss grey eyes glaring into a triumphant set of blues.

"I'm great, actually."

A little grin on her face, Annie crossed her legs and finally focused on eating the meal in front of her. She could feel his gaze, a mix of embarrassment and affection, and her chest felt warm. It was too easy for him to make her feel that way. Lord knows she wasn't supposed to.

Out of the corner of her eyes, she could feel two other pairs of eyes on her. They, however, were much less welcome. She tilted her head slightly, meeting Reiner and Bertholdt with daggers in her gaze. _Don't make me feel worse than I already do._

Luckily, they turned away from her, and she was free to continue her meal in peace. Almost on instinct, her hand started to reach for Armin. Annie pulled away, cheeks growing pink. It was wrong, she knew it, but she couldn't help herself.

Especially when she looked up to meet his bright blue eyes, so full of hope and wonder. For a world that in her mind was nothing but shit.

Was it a special form of punishment for what she had to do? Finding a little bit of happiness, only to destroy it all in the blink of an eye? Not to mention, hurting him in the process. Betraying him.

It was all a part of being a traitor, after all.

She took a deep breath, and ended up glaring at her stew.

Armin couldn't help but notice her frustration, and under the table, he tapped his foot against her. _Look at me._

She perked up, feeling a familiar sting of guilt as his eyes once again met hers. He was always perceptive. She couldn't help but wonder just how much he saw when he looked at her.

"You know…" Annie began, tapping his foot as she decided to lighten up her own mood. "Armin's really been improving with hand-to-hand. He's much more impressive than you, Eren. Catch up."

Eren was immediately, yet playfully, fuming with anger, distilled slightly as Mikasa put a hand on his shoulder.

The other girl shot a look at Annie, and she couldn't help but find it hard to tell whether it was in jest or not.

"I'm a bit disappointed that you and I never got to finish our duel, Annie." Mikasa spoke in her usual calm, controlled tone. "We could have seen if your technique isn't as invincible as you seem to think."

"Someday, Ackerman." Annie took a sip of water, smiling at Armin. "Someday."

Armin was almost as relieved as Annie when dinner was over, everyone filing out fast as each cadet was no doubt eager to get to bed.

Armin tapped the wall next to her three times with his knuckle, and he grinned when her attention snapped to him. "Usual." He murmured softly in her ear. With a quick smile, she snuck behind the girls barracks as the others stepped inside. Once she was in the clear, she grabbed the blanket she had hidden underneath the foundation and made her way toward the barn on the other side of the training grounds.

"I kind of wish we picked a place that smelled a little less like horse, sometimes, but I'll take what I can get."

Armin waited for her near the barn doors, cape tied tight, a lantern in his hands, and a near face-splitting grin across his cheeks. There were times when he was far too cute for her to take, and that was definitely one of them.

"I'm sorry it's so cold!" He whispered, taking her hand in his own. She shrugged, and squeezed his shivering hand tight. Of course, she barely felt the cold. Though that wasn't something he needed to know.

Annie led him in toward a nearby pile of fresh hay, as if it was prepared in advance specifically for them. He took the blanket from her hands, and kissed her cheek before setting it down on the softest spot he could find.

"So," He began, patting down the edges. "Are you going to tell me what was bothering you at dinner?"

"...Nothing." She stood off to the side, shrugging off her jacket before laying down next to him.

As Annie laid down on his chest, reveling in his warmth, she knew he didn't believe her. He was more than a little tense.

"Is it because training is almost over…?"

This time, Annie was the one to go tense. He wasn't wrong, per say.

She clutched at the fabric of his shirt. "I'm sorry."

"You know, it won't matter that we're in different military branches. We'll figure it out. Like we always do." Armin kissed the top of Annie's head as they lied there under the stars.

 _I wish._

She kept her mouth shut. The less he knew, the better. Her stomach was in a tight knot, and at any point she could swear she would be sick. In a moment of weakness that she was never sure ever quite went away, she rolled on top of him and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

From there, she couldn't stop. Her lips met his ear, hands pushing up into his blond hair.

Armin moaned softly as she started kissing and nibbling at his ear. His hands ran down her sides and to her hips, squeezing as her fingers threaded up into his hair. His hands slid lower.

"You are incapable of being subtle." She whispered into his ear before blowing a stream of hot air. The feeling of him shuddering of her gave her an odd sense of gratification. In that moment, for the time being, she was in complete control of her life. No following orders. Just him.

And he was all that mattered in the end.

She sat up, straddling his lap as she unbuttoned his shirt.

"You aren't very subtle either, Annie." His fingers moved under her hoodie as he pushed it up over her head. His hands moved over her breasts before pulling off her bra as well. His fingers brushed over the perks of her breast. "You're so cute."

Annie's hand pulled his hand in harder to squeeze. She loved the feeling of his hands on her chest. Her breath hitched. "I don't think 'cute' is the right word, tiger."

A pull had caught her off guard as she realized he was tugging her in to kiss her. She happily slid her fingers back into his hair.

Armin sucked on her lip. He was too gentle, and he was driving her crazy.

Now, Armin would be lying if he said he didn't notice her hips rolling frantically on him, catching the friction at the tip of his cock. He was buzzing as he pressed his lips to her neck, snatching skin between his teeth and sucking until he left a prominent peach mark. It was quickly turning purple and blue, and he couldn't help but feel a bit proud.

Especially as she let out a barely muffled moan before going back to capture his lips in her own. His tongue was languid against hers, and she felt his hands squeeze her hips. _Nice to know you're as into this as I am, wonderboy._

Annie felt the abrupt motion of him pulling her under his body. His hands were holding her wrists down. His pupils were blown wide, and he was panting. Annie couldn't help but feel like he was looking at her like a piece of meat for a split second.

Strangely enough, it was still turning her on.

"I love you." His voice was stable, even if she could feel his hands shaking as he held her down. "Annie, I love you."

"Armin, where's this coming from?" She asked, pressing her hips up. He shuddered, and Annie's ears grew hot. _There's still some fire in him._ "One might think you're trying to pull a dirty trick to trip me up. It's not necessary right now, just so you know."

Before he could answer, she pulled him back against her, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.

Armin's lips met her neck, and he moved up to her ear to whisper. "You're beautiful. I love you. I love you, Annie."

Annie shuddered under him as he nibbled her ear, sucking gently before moving down to her collarbone. He couldn't tell if the harsh breathing was coming from her mouth, or his, but it didn't matter. It was still sending sparks down his spine, sending buzzes through his abdomen. Her leg slipped up and pressed against his apparent erection, and Armin yelped softly.

"Sorry, did I scare you?" Annie asked softly as she arched up to kiss him. He met her lips and grinned softly.

"A little bit."

Annie smiled softly as she moved to thread her fingers back up to his hair. She surged up to meet his lips again, and she wrapped her legs around his waist to pull him in. The heat and weight of his body against hers was everything she could've wanted. She felt him against her, hard and eager, and she sucked at his lower lip. _I need you._

Armin realized then she was rocking up. He was starting to get dizzy again, the friction driving him mad. He pulled down her pants and underwear, biting his lip as he looked at her naked form. This wasn't the first time they had sex, no. But it didn't seem to matter if it was the first or a thousandth time he saw her naked– she always managed to take his breath away.

"Stop staring at me like that."

"Like what?" He asked as his hands moved to brush down her sides and hips.

"Like food." She turned her gaze from his, eyeing the white daisy next to her face.

Armin pressed a kiss to her sternum then, watching as her attention snapped back to his. Her fingers tangled in his hair, catching knots from her previous ruffling. He was starting to kiss lower, and lower. Annie arched her hips up right as he pressed his lips at the line of her core.

 _God, Armin._

His arms wrapped around her thighs, squeezing them gently as he pressed his face against her. He lapped his tongue against her, watching as she squirmed and spasmed at the touch of his tongue against her clit. Her grip on his hair tightened, as did her clenching thighs around his head.

 _How do you undo me so quickly?_ "Armin, ah-nn, please–"

The boy couldn't help but enjoy her desperate noises, her moans, whimpers, her pleasured sobbing. Flicking his tongue now, brushing her clit with little strokes. She was pressing his face into her, as if suffocating him against her core would make his mouth work the way she wanted it to do.

 _You fucking tease–_

Finally, he began to suck. Annie's hips were rutting against his face now, and Armin could taste her wetness, feel it dripping down his chin. Then he felt her thigh muscles spasm, and she collapsed.

He sat up then, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. She was panting, and her thighs were sore now.

But one look as him unzipping his pants and letting them drop over her clothes, she couldn't help but bite her lip, and pull him in close. She was tugging him gently, watching as he shuddered and whined.

"Annie– fffffuck, please– Annnbggggh! D-Don't tease me like that."

The gratification of his hips bucking against her thumb was too much for Annie at that moment. She pushed him over and straddled his lap, lining herself up. She sunk down slowly, shuddering at every passing centimeter.

 _Height is an indicator of nothing._

"I love you," He moaned.

"I love you too, Armin." She started rocking her hips forward. The squelching noises of his cock driving up in her was sending shivers down her spine, and the shocks going up from the pleasure of him hitting her sweet spot only made her work faster.

Armin squeaked loudly before grabbing her hips and pulling her against him to a stop. "No, not… not this fast." He shifted then, holding her close to his chest as he sat up.

Annie remembered then, Armin telling her about a little fuzzy grey creature called a koala, that held tight to trees or its mother. _You are everything to me._ "Okay, Armin."

"I want you to marry me one day," He whispered in her ear as his hips slowly began to drive into her. "I want us to be together."

"Fffuck, Armin–" Annie clung tight to him as she tucked her face into his chest. She bit down on the crook of his neck and shoulder, and Armin bucked hard. She squealed, and Armin wrapped his arms tighter around her waist.

"Please, Annie." He whined. _I can feel how close you are._

"Armin, hhhnn...a-ahh, Armin."

He was moving faster now, pulling her hips down in assistance to her movements. His left hand then went to move to her clit, rubbing in small quick circles. "Come, Annie."

And on cue, they came together. Armin rocked through his orgasm without thinking, watching as Annie shuddered and whined. Her fingernails dug into his skin and dragged down. He hissed at the pain but grinned the same. Annie shifted then, letting him slip of out her. "That was… incredible."

Armin nodded numbly, a little glazed over from the crazy amount of lust he released. He looked down at her, and noticed then white slipping down her thighs. "Fuck, I forgot to pull out."

"No, really? I hadn't noticed at all." Annie commented snarky, before taking his lips between her again. "Come help me clean up this mess."

It didn't take long for them to make it over to lake and clean themselves up. His hands were soft against her thighs, helping her wash the sticky stain away from her skin. "Did you mean… Armin do you really want to marry me?"

"Of course I do!" He smiled at her, warm, inviting.

 _Everything I'm not._

"I want to grow old with you." He murmured to her as he ran his hands over her waist. "Honestly, Annie. I want us to have a family. A life together. A long… long, happy life."

 _I want that too. I can't, Armin, this is torture beyond anything I've known before._ "Armin…."

"You… you want that too, don't you?" He asked timidly.

Annie bit her lip for a moment. Whether because of the question, or the fact his hand was darting into dangerous territory, she didn't know. "I love you, Armin. I-I want you to be happy."

"I am happy. I'm really happy when I'm with you." He kissed her forehead then, moving his hands back to her waist. "Let's get dressed. We can stargaze for a while. Is that okay with you?"

"...Yeah."

* * *

Armin held her close to him, letting her head rest on his chest. He was still shirtless, much to his avail. He was shivering, but Annie nustled into him made his heart warm. Her own natural warmth, of course, certainly helped.

As he gazed at her, she looked like her mind was anywhere but in that moment. Eyebrows furrowed softly, her usual neutral expression plastered on. Annie found herself mindlessly tracing patterns on his chest with the tips of her fingers. It should have been peaceful, she thought to herself, but there was no peace in her life. No lasting peace, anyway. It's not what she was born for.

 _Not like you._ Her fist clenched. It would only be two months before their graduation. Two months before they were separated, and she knew it would be for good. Yet she let herself indulge in the warmth of his skin. The stars and wonder in his eyes that made her heart pound.

In two months time, he'd no longer look at her with warmth and sincerity. With the curiosity and intelligence that was just as apparent in his voice as with his gaze. How would he look back at their quiet conversations in the woods after he found out she was a murderer?  
The thought of it made her sick. She took in an audible gulp, willing it away like she had tone dozens upon dozens of times in the past three years.

"Annie?"

She nearly jumped at the sound of his voice, soft as ever.

"Yeah? Sorry, I...fatigue. You know how that is."

She didn't need to look up at Armin to know he didn't believe that. Of course it had to be the incredibly perceptive and clever boy she got close to. As if her mission was fucked the moment their eyes met during formation.

To his credit, he still didn't push further. She felt him squeeze her shoulder, and a smile pulled at her lips.

"I meant what I said, you know. I… I really do want a life with you."

The knot in her stomach was quick to resurface. "I do too."

There was a lump in her throat that was hard to choke down, but she managed. It shouldn't have been his concern. She'd be hurting him enough in a few months, anyway.

 _I want him to smile._

Annie took a deep breath, shifting her position as to meet his eyes, chin resting on her hands against his chest.

"Tell me, Arlert. Was it my dry sense of humor, angry face, or large nose that first attracted you to me? I've been told my tendency to sleep in class is a very alluring habit." Annie gave him a small grin, powering through the unending guilt.

"Your eyes." He said without hesitancy. "Your eyes are beautiful. I know you think you look angry, but you're just… intense. Your eyes are striking, and beautiful, and I… I can't seem to look away. People are afraid of intensity. They're afraid of something so strong. I'm not. I think I've figured you out."

Had he been looking, he would've seen the fear in her eyes.

"You're actually kind. Sweet. Introverted. You distance yourself from people, but… it doesn't change how beautiful you actually are. I love your nose, your lips, your smile. Your heart. Your mind. But… I think I fell in love with you when we met eyes."

"...I think I'm just selfish as hell." She grumbled under her breath, nails digging into the palms of her hands from how hard she squeezed.

"If love is considered selfish… Then I am too. I want… I want a lot for us…"

Annie found it harder to breath. Even so, she took a deep breath, painful as it was. "That was cheesy as hell. You do have a silver tongue, Arlert, I'll give you that."

 _And apparently a talented one. I'm still wheezing._ "...I know you're getting in the MP. There's no doubt in my mind."

"There's no doubt in mine, either." She snickered, though the bittersweet taste in her mouth was more than strong. "If you join the garrison, you could probably have a chance to maybe see my mug every now and then."

 _Stop it. Don't get his hopes up more._

She was almost relieved to hear Armin chuckle, though she knew it meant he was still set on the goals he'd always have. The Survey Corp. Of course, right in her own line of fire.

"I know you don't want me in the Corp… but I think I'll be of use there… I know we won't be physically together but… Would you write to me? Would you…. Would you be willing to try to keep this? I love you… I really, really love you."

Once again, she went rigid. "Yes." _Shut up._ "Of course."

Armin's smile widened and he leaned in to kiss her slow. His heart was soaring. Truly, he wondered if Annie could feel it pounding against his chest. "Annie?" He asked softly against her lips. "How do you feel about kids? I-I mean, not right now obviously not in this mess… But… someday, maybe… Maybe we could have a few kids of our own…?"

"Slow down, Arlert, please, for god's sake, let my lower half live." She propped herself up on her elbows, giving his forehead a small flick. "We'll get there when we get there."

Armin pouted. "Humor me? For a little while?"

"...Uh," The pout on his face was more than hard to say no too. She sighed, and again rested her head against his chest. Annie allowed herself to be selfish for a little longer. "Fine. One mini Armin and half an Annie."

"Damn… Honestly, I was sorta hoping for a little bunch of kids. Two… three…maybe four?"

Annie shot up again, brows furrowed as she met his eyes. "Maybe if it wasn't my lower regions being shredded, how about-"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry!" He snickered, leaning up to steal a kiss. "Maybe we should have a wedding first anyways. A little one. You, me. Eren and Mikasa maybe. I can just picture how you look with flowers in your hair."

There was the lump in her throat again. This time, Annie found it particularly difficult to will away. Her eyes were downcast, despite already facing away from Armin's. "...Yeah. I'm getting really tired." She began to stand up, putting out a hand to pull him up as well. "Walk me back?"

"... Of course." He took her hand and stood up. She still wasn't making eye contact with him. "Did I hurt you?" He asked. He had stopped in his tracks gently. Her fingers were laced with his. "Hey… I know it's going to be hard…. But I love you, Annie. If anyone can, we can, right?" Her cheeks were wet, he noticed when his thumb brushed the bone. "Look at me."

 _I hate how much I love you. When the time comes, I won't be able to do it…._

Armin's lips took hers, then, and Annie didn't mind feeling so selfish when his hands held her.

* * *

Annie felt disgusted with herself in how easy it was to remain stone faced as she stared down at Marco's gear. Arms behind her back, standing side by side with the classmates that suspected nothing. Dealing with their own trauma, no doubt. The previous days had been hell, after all. _No thanks to me._

The class was noticeably far smaller than it should have been. Nearly a third were absent. Already a pile of ash. Faces that stood tall at graduation a mere few days prior were grim, pale, sickly. Though at least they were breathing.

With her knowledge, that was barely an improvement.

But _he_ was standing. He was there. Next to her. Out of her peripheral, she could vaguely see his hands itching to grab hers.

 _Resisting him is hard._ Especially as he still spoke so fondly of the kind girl he thought she was. He'd soon see otherwise, and she knew it well enough.

When they were finally let go, Annie was one of the first to make it out of the stuffy headquarters, face meeting the welcome burst of fresh air. She took it in, letting herself relax as her stomach began to settle for the first time that day.

"Annie?"

She fliched, turning around quickly with hands up to defend herself.

To both her relief and dread, she stared back at Armin.

"...Are you okay?"

"..." It took her a moment to relax, starting with lowering her arms. "Yeah. I think. Okay-ish." She stuffed her hands in the pocket of her hoodie, momentarily feeling lightheaded before taking in a deep breath. "Long week."

"That's….a bit of an understatement." He chuckled lightly, scratching the back of his neck. Slowly, she moved closer to him, and tentatively reached for his hand. Though as she held it tight, there was an odd limpness to it she'd never quite felt before. "... I know what you saw out there."

Her breath caught in her throat.

"What exactly did I see out there?"

There was something in Armin's eyes she couldn't quite read. The anxiety welling in the pit of her stomach was only made worse as she thought back to another set of eyes. Marco Bodt's, tear stained and fearful as he begged her for help, to not do what she had to do. To spare his life.

She spared his gear instead. Nothing resembling the actions of a good person. A few days later and she still couldn't rationalize it, not quite like the two that had pushed her to do it at least. Annie squeezed Armin's hand, for once trying to get him to look at her instead of the other way around.

The moment dragged on, and she felt increasingly nauseous.

"Armin, I...I'm so sorry…." She bit her lip, not even completely sure what she was apologizing to him for. Well, there was certainly a lot to start with. Perhaps it was simply the fact that he'd been so quiet, something that was so rare and a little unsettling. _Please speak up._

Finally, his gazed rested on hers, and a familiar smile pulled at his lips. Armin tipped up her chin, pressing his lips against hers. Annie shuddered and pressed her palms to his chest. "It seems it doesn't seem to matter how many of them I see… it's not like they get any less scary." He hushed to her quietly as he pressed his forehead against hers. He paused, in contemplation. "We lost a lot of people… We lost Marco. I mean… I don't know if you were very close to him or not… but he was dear to me. I'm… I'm-"

"You're still joining the survey corp, aren't you?"

"Of course I am."

She didn't expect him to change his mind in the five minutes since he said it last. Still, she couldn't help herself. Annie rested her head against his shoulder, brows furrowing as their separation drew closer.

"Hey, look at me," He spoke just above a whisper, "this isn't the end of the road for us. We're going to write to each other. We'll be together again… someday."

Annie couldn't bring herself to say anymore. Instead, she simply reveled in the loving presence she'd lose soon enough. The silence was surprisingly welcome, but she still felt sick. His words burned slowly into her mind, especially as the class was drawn toward the stage at nightfall. That was it. That's how she would remember his voice.

Warm, affectionate, earnest.

When she walked away from the group she'd spent three years of her life with, off toward the next stage of her mission in Stohess, her stomach sank. She clutched at her abdomen, and slumped against a tree out of the sight of the dispersing crowd.

 _You pieces of shit._ She thought to herself as Bertholdt and Reiner stayed behind and stood in front of Erwin Smith

"Hey, cadet. We're leaving in a few minutes, hurry up." She heard a member of the military police shout in her direction. He'd have to wait. She had a little too much to process in that moment, and the contents of her stomach were quick to come back up.

* * *

It was barely two weeks later when her roommate stood over her, waving a concealed piece of parchment in her hand, and a cat-like smile spread across her face.

"Hitch," Annie spoke up from her spot on the floor, rudely woken up from a perfectly good nap. "If you're going to hold something over me, at least make it worthwhile. I'm tired as hell."

"To Miss Annie Leonhardt: Dotted the "i" with a heart. Awwwwwww Annnnnieeeee." The other woman cackled, ready to rip the letter open. Annie, however, was quick to shoot up and snatch it out of her hands.

"Don't go through my mail." She bit back, glaring daggers at her grinning roommate.

"You didn't tell me you have a boyfriend! And I'll be honest, I never would have guessed." Hitch stood to the side as Annie walked over toward the window. "I mean, you're kind of quiet. And a bit scary lookin' at times, no offense. What's his name? Is he cute?"

Annie willfully ignored her, and instead focused on the parchment in her hands. The familiar handwriting brought a warmth to her chest she had started to miss.

 **Bearcat,**

 **I've been dying to send this letter for quite some time! You wouldn't believe the things that are happening over here. Training is going well, and I've been finding that the strategists have been really interested in my skills. I guess the hours and hours we spent playing chess have really paid off! Hehehe.**

 **The real reason I decided to write to you though, was to say how terribly I've been missing you. I love you. I really** **really** **hope we'll see each other soon. I love you. I miss the look in your eyes when you smiled.**

 **With All My Love,**

 **Armin Arlert**

Annie could feel butterflies in her stomach. She folded the letter, and slipped it under her pillow with a smile on her face that was alarmingly obvious.

"Wow….he must be really cute, then."

"Shut up." Despite it all, a little snicker passed her lips. Annie made her way to the nearby desk, and pulled out a fresh sheet of paper. Before the pen could hit the parchment, there was an abrupt pause.

She took in an audible gulp. Her cheeks tingled as her face grew flushed, stomach churning with each deep breath. Annie clutched at her abdomen, bending down as she tried to will it away. _Stop it, stop it, stop it-_

"Someone looks pale." Hitch cut in, making Annie jump. Instead of a response, she took another deep breath and straightened herself out.

Guilt, she'd come to realize, manifested in many different ways. Sleepless nights, and a loss in appetite were among the most common. Annie, however, found she'd had no problem with either sleep or eating. It manifested itself by simply making her feel like constant, utter, physical shit. At least, that's what she rationalized.

After a moment, she once again focused on the paper in front of her. She pushed everything else to the back of her mind, instead focusing on the boy that mattered most.

 **Arlert,**

 **It's rude as hell to keep a girl waiting, but you've never been into social norms I suppose. I miss you too. More than I should probably, but that's neither here nor there.**

Her fist clenched on her lap. For a moment, she contemplated crumpling it up and tossing it away. He needed to forget about her. The more she wrote, the worse she would make it for him. Her own desires won over.

 **I'm glad to know they haven't chewed you up and spit you back out. The survey corp, I mean. Though I knew you'd do fine. You're a lot stronger than people think. Far braver than I. I'm a filthy coward, but you don't need to know that. For some reason you think otherwise. Not for long, I guess. I wonder if you'll still want to write to me in a few weeks. Perhaps it would be better to just forget everything. I may not be able to. It's my punishment to keep it all close. I love you.**

 **-Annie**

She sat back, and stared at the letter in front of her. Her stomach started twisting again inside of her. With a deep breath, Annie folded the letter.

Before getting up, she slammed it into the bottom drawer of the desk.

"You're not gonna send it?" Hitch asked from the rooms vanity, brush in hand and running through her hair.

Again, Annie didn't answer. She got up, and quickly tossed on her hoodie before making her way outside. The fresh air did little to soothe her nerves, or her stomach. She bent over near the wall, unable to keep the contents of her stomach down. Vile burned her throat, and she felt her stomach wretch forward, as if it was trying to jump out of her.

Annie remembered only one other time in her life she'd been that sick. At the age of eight, hacking her lungs out and barely able to keep anything down. There was little sympathy from her father. _"You're wasting time. Your body will learn and become stronger."_

Sometimes she questioned her desire to return home.

* * *

 **Anniebear,**

 **I'm not sure if you're getting my letters, or if you're not sending yours back, but it doesn't bother me any. I've found a therapeutic way to let out my emotions. Of course, I'd love to think about you reading them. I wonder if you shove the letters under your pillow like you used to with the poetry I would slip to you back in training. I hope you do.**

 **We're learning more and more. I can't tell you, even if I wanted to, about what we're learning, but we are still discovering more and more. I only hope that one day we will eliminate them. I still want to show you the ocean. I still desperately want to spend my life with you.**

 **I think about you. I think about you all the time. I can't seem to stop. You know, I may have become addicted to you. I miss the way you would melt in my hands when I kissed you. I miss how warm your body was against mine… There are many things I miss. I wish I could see you. I miss your eyes. I miss your smile. I miss you.**

 **I love you. I'm beyond in love with you. I'm lost in you.**

 **I still want to marry you. Be with you. Have a family with you. Spend my life with you. I love you so much, Annie.**

 **I don't think it's possible to love anyone more than I love you.**

 **With everything I am,**

 **Armin Arlert**

"Well...that's just the most pathetic thing I've ever witnessed."

Annie was in no condition to respond. She crouched on the floor, face over a large bucket smuggled from the nearby barn. It was a week before her mission, yet she barely felt in any condition to walk down the block. Hitch handed her a damp rag, and slowly rubbed circles on her back.

"You know how lax these people are. I'm sure they won't spare a second thought if you skip out on patrols today." The other girl assisted Annie as she stood up, brows knit. "I mean. You could have something serious."

Annie nudged her off, slumping on her bed with a heavy sigh. "Believe me. I'll be fine. My system's a bit tougher than most." _Besides, if I was really sick, you would be, too._ " It could simply be anxiety. I'm a bit frail, if you haven't noticed."

"Aw, bullshit, Annie!" Hitch chuckled, handing the other girl a glass of water. "Well, if it's food poisoning, you better tell the cook. You're useless as an MP like this. And that's saying something."

"It's not food poisoning." Her voice remained deadpan, and while she wanted more than anything for that conversation to end, she didn't have the will to make Hitch leave. "It's not the flu. I'll get over it. I heal fast."

"Three weeks isn't very fast. Hm." For a moment, Hitch was silent, mindlessly moving around the room to tidy up the messy space. Suddenly, Annie heard all movement stop. With brows furrowed, she looked up to see Hitch staring at her rather intently.

"What?"

"Hm. Don't take this the wrong way, but, uh...you're not...you know... _late_ , are you?"

"Late for what?"

There was another silence. The girls stared at each other for almost a minute before Annie shot up from the bed, almost hitting her head on the top bunk along the way.

 _No. No no no._

She covered her mouth, feeling increasingly light headed as Hitch's implications crashed down on her.

"No. No, absolutely not, I...what day is it?!"

She barely heard Hitch's response. She didn't need to. Annie leaned against the bedpost, barely propping herself up as everything seemed to hit at once.

"Wow, uh. Hon, I was half joking when I brought that up. You can't seriously be-"

" _Don't_ say it." She spit back, though her usual icy glare seemed unwilling to stick.

"...up the spout?"

In a moment, Annie was on her ass once again. Her thoughts were swimming.

 _We weren't always careful, sure, but-_

She buried her face in her hands. No matter how many deep breaths she took, it wasn't enough. As if her situation could be more fucked up. Now added onto it was something she was, until _fairly_ recently, sure was impossible. A heightened immune system had to make it impossible. _No, that's...that's not completely true is it…_

Her fingers combed up into her hair, eyes widened. "This...how did…"

"Do you really need me to explain how babies are made, Leonhardt? When a boy loves a girl very much-"

Annie shot Hitch a scowl, practically snarling at the other girl. To her credit, Hitch was quick to back off, her face softening to something akin to sympathy.

"Are you going to tell him?" Her voice was gentle as she moved over next to her, sitting down. Hitch replicated Annie's ball, and rested her head on her knees as she looked at Annie. "I mean, I'm sure the MP will more than compensate any expenses, or…"

Annie shook her head. "He's in the corp."

"Ohhh." Hitch took in a slow breath before asking. "You don't talk about him much. He seems to be really in love with you." She tucked her hair behind her ear before asking. "Tell me about him."

Her eyes were downcast. One hand still threaded in her hair, her other traveled down, resting tentatively on her abdomen. _Hello there…?_

Part of her wanted nothing more than to tell Hitch to shove off. That it was none of her business. Tell her to keep her mouth shut, and in a week it would all be over anyway. Even if it had survived this far, Annie doubted it would survive the transformation. Her stomach ached at the thought. Another casualty to add to her growing list. Another part of Armin she was going to destroy.

"He's uh," She took in a deep breath, willing away the nausea. "He's a little younger than I am. About six months. Kinda baby faced. Not very tall. Blond hair, blue eyes…"

"Don't tell me he's your brother or some shit."

"Fuck off." She nudged Hitch's shoulder with her own, earning a chuckle from the other woman. "His eyes, they're far older than he is. Wise, knowing, full of the stars in the sky. Not to be a poet, or anything. They search for things in me I didn't know I had. He's...important. To me, I mean. He's one of the few people in this shit world that may actually do some good." _If it's at all salvageable._ "He's clever. Smarter than anyone we work with."

"Not very hard to accomplish that."

"Even so." She bit her lip, and wondered how she got to be such a blabber mouth in that moment. Hormones, or hopelessness. "He...makes me question everything. I...I don't want to talk about this anymore." Slowly, she got up, despite Hitch's vocal protests. "Excuse me."

Annie snatched her hoodie from the bed, and rushed outside before Hitch could grab her. If she ever needed the fresh air, it was at that moment. When she walked out of the building, she couldn't stop. She didn't know where she heading. _Anywhere but here._

The wind hit her face, and she realized tears were beginning to run down her cheeks. It wasn't long before she was choking, sobs racking through her. She managed to slip into an empty alley before anyone took notice to the sobbing teenage girl rushing down the street.

She slumped onto the ground, clutching her abdomen as she hugged her knees to her chest.

It wasn't supposed to be like. She felt numb, truly, compared to the stoic facade she tried so hard to keep up. There wasn't a point to acting otherwise, after all. Despite Armin, despite the odd warmth of the last hug her father gave her, Annie was clear about one thing. She wasn't born for happiness, certainly not in that world. Not even in the cabin in the woods waiting for her back home. She was a tool for destruction, and the world made sure she remembered it.

* * *

 **Armin,**

 **I'm sorry. Hoping I could just take everything I've done, and everything I'm about to do back is pointless. I'm not going to ask for your forgiveness. Frankly, I don't deserve it. I'm a failure as a human being, though maybe I can succeed at the thing I was born to do. Make sure the blood I've spilled wasn't absolutely in vain.**

 **I wish it didn't have to be like this, but it's the reality of the world we live in. I hope you at least live to see something else in it. Something I'll never see. Take care.**

 **-Annie**

 **p.s. I was pregnant, by the way. No need to worry about that.**

Without a second, thought she slammed the letter into the drawer containing dozens upon dozens of others. Unsent, and likely to never be seen by the individual they were meant for.

She had nothing now. Only to wait for her purpose to be fulfilled. In a few days, everything would be over.

Maybe she could forget, too.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **I had to go through a redo all my italics. I always forget the formatting here loves to fuck with that, so I apologize for anyone who read before that.**

 _ **I originally posted this on AO3, which has this + three chapters, and of course it's ongoing. I figured I might as well post it here too!**_

 **And that's just the prologue!**  
 **We've had this au in mind for months, and we're both super excited to finally release it on the world! We'll be alternating chapters. If the chapter is in Annie's point of view, it was written by me (Katsy0c0). On the flip side, if it's an Armin chapter, that would be Phaeton (2lulah). We both dearly hope you enjoy, sit back, indulge in some combined smut/angst/fluff with occasional humor, and of course leave feedback!**  
 **P.s., I was going to throw something in about suspending your disbelief about certain things, but then I remembered this is a series about people fighting giant naked zombie people along with teenagers that can turn into giant naked zombies as well. SO.**

 **Again, enjoy, and feedback encouraged 3**

 **-Katie (Katsy0c0)**


	2. Lifeforms

_When did you start looking at me with those eyes?_

 _"Even now I can't believe it! I wanted so bad to be wrong for once!"_

 _"What exactly are you fighting for?"_

 _"Annie….fall."_

There was an odd peace that came with utter failure.

It was far from the end of the road, but as she encased herself in crystal, tears streaming down her face, she was able to breathe better than she had in awhile. For the time being, there were no secrets. There was nothing more she could do. She was officially a failure, a traitor, a murderer, a treasonist, and hated by the few people she gave a shit about. _Including him_. But at least she could be those things openly.

Annie closed her eyes, taking in another deep breath as the world turned black around her.

 _"Annie,"_ A familiar voice burned in her mind. _"You could have gotten further if you'd just killed me."_

His voice was the last thing on her mind before the crystal encased her, and she drifted to sleep.

* * *

Annie could only describe the moments of breaking free from that crystal as surreal.

As if she'd blacked out, and woken up in an entirely new world. Well, maybe not entirely new. It had only felt like moments before she was falling off the wall into a sea of angry soldiers. Now she felt completely limp, eyes opening to dank brick walls and panicked faces that were vaguely familiar.

Though she couldn't exactly put in the effort to naming any of them. Her eyes met the stinging light of torches as she fell onto the cold dungeon ground. With a still foggy mind and labored breathing, Annie could hear the shouts and panic from the men and women around her. Members of the Scouting Legion and Garrison who were tasked with guarding her in her crystal now turned their guns uselessly on her collapsed form.

Annie herself was the next to cry out. Or groan, rather. Her joints ached and cracked, muscles spasming as an apparent year and a half of stunted growth caught up to her slowly. Somewhat more recognizable voices entered the fray, and she felt several pairs of hands grab her by the arms and drag her to an adjacent holding cell.

 _I've hit the bottom._

"Cuff her, quick. She could be feigning fatigue." A man's voice spoke up. Of course, she wasn't feigning anything. Annie could barely move her hand up to her mouth. "And send for the commander at once. Tell him to bring his best soldiers."

Annie felt herself being placed on a nearby table, steel cuffs clasping onto her wrists. She could only stare up at the ceiling with blurry vision only just beginning to clear up.

 _The commander. Which one are they talking about?_ She thought to herself, her mind, though still groggy, was waking up faster than her body. _The scouts, hm?_ For a moment, her heart stopped. _I wonder who's left._

 _I wonder if he's left._

In her mind she had already begun to plan an escape. Even below ground, she could somehow sneak out. Perhaps cut off her hands to free herself from her restraints, and make her way upstairs under the cover of nightfall. Maybe then things could get back on track. Reluctantly, she settled on that being the best course of action.

"She's out and alive?" The familiar, eccentric feminine voice burst into the room. "Don't hurt her! We want her to give us any information she has, and we don't want you guys killing another-"

"AGH-"

Annie's body jerked forward, the immense pain forcing her into a ball as she cried out. The other voices were silenced, only to come back again with shouts of confusion and fear.

"What? What's going on?"

"She could be tricking us!"

"Stand back!" Hange Zoe called out, swatting her panicked underlings away. "Do not in any way jab at...her…"

Hange fell silent. As did the rest of the frantic military when they noticed something they thought was impossible. An obvious trick.

Wracking with pained sobs, Annie's hands clasped at her stomach. One that was swollen, and obvious at that.

Annie only wished she could join in their stunned silence. As the pain got worse, so did her own confusion and panic. _How are you still-?_

She jerked forward again, desperately trying to will away a pain unlike any she'd experienced.

She knew she was pregnant. She'd known for at least a week before the incident. But this? She thought the titan transformation and crystal encasement would have ended any chance, no matter how much she wanted it.

"AH-MMPH-" As everyone was too stunned to help, Annie flattened herself out, and propped her legs up as best as she could. Her watering eyes turned to meet those of Hange Zoe, who was at least intelligent and composed enough to finally make a move.

"This is...okay! Okay, Moblit, boil a pot of water and bring it back with a bowl and towels. Someone get scissors and an extra nightgown!" She spoke with an air of authority at her baffled subordinates, sighing in frustration when they remained frozen. "GO! Or else you'll have a giant angry titan mother on your asses!"

Her back arched up, head digging into the tables hard wood as she cried out. The pain and her thoughts were the only things Annie could focus on. Every frantic voice around her blended, like a cloud over her that made her head pound. She wanted so badly to run, but it was impossible. Any previous plans for escape immediately became moot the moment she accepted what was going on. She wasn't dreaming. The immense pain made that clear.

"Ahh, just breathe for me, Annie!" Hange called over the noise, her voice surprisingly stern if somewhat excited.

She closed her eyes, squeezing her fists tight as she tried in one last ditch effort to wake up for real. The power of denial only got her so far.

Even a deep breath couldn't slow down time. Before Annie knew it, there it was.

There _she_ was.

A shrill, healthy cry pierced through the atmosphere, silencing almost every voice in the room. The few moments of silence were jarring to Annie's ears. The baby was calming down, and it hit her hard. _You're alive. You little warrior. How?_

Hange held the child in her arms for a moment, an excited smile and laugh bursting out of her as she lightly bounced the rather wiggly newborn.

"Well aren't you a little surprise, hm? Little…miss. Definitely a girl!" She turned to a frantic Moblit, who already had a warm towel unfolded in his hands. "Be gentle, Moblit, normally I wouldn't allow someone to handle a child if they've just been drinking!" Hange let out a hearty chuckle, before handing the crying infant off and turning back to finish things up on the resident titan shifter. "My, my, you are full of surprises, Female Titan."

Annie, slumped down and practically limp again, found herself far too out of breath to even think of a response. Her own trembling and cuffed hands pushed back her sweat-dampened bangs. From there laying down, she could make out the shape in the other soldier's arms. Tiny, squirming, and a hell of a working set of lungs. Moblit looked about ready to drop her. A couple other soldiers came over with soft rags, wiping the child clean as Annie finally got a glimpse of her small face.

Furrowed brows met wide eyes as she almost forgot how to breathe.

Eventually, Hange stood back, clapping her hands together almost triumphantly. She pushed her glasses up, wild hair falling around her face. "Always messy business, but luckily I am just about the closest thing to a doctor we could get. Now, Annie, there is the matter of what to do. We were originally going to have some fun in interrogation, but we wouldn't want to do that in front of a sweet innocent, hm?"

 _Don't you dare-_ With a surge of panic, Annie tried to prop herself up on her elbows. An icy, glass cutting glare that many were familiar with rested on her face. Many, including the man holding her baby, flinched and stepped back, comforted only slightly by her shackled arms. Hange, however, was unimpressed and stood firm, even going so far as looking at the un- expectant mother with some type of sympathy.

Eventually, their thirty second long staring contest came to an end that Annie hadn't quite anticipated.

"Free her arms. Let's go to a cushier cell."

"What?! S-Squad leader, that's way too risky!"

"Ohh, come now Moblit, that's what this job is about!" With oddly gentle hands, she grabbed the baby out of his arms and motioned for her underlings to do as she asked. "Besides. She's not going to do anything. She can't. She's too weak. And even if she had some strength...I still don't think she'd be in a hurry to break free. Not now." With a pleasant grin, Hange turned around to leave. Before she could, another of her subordinates grabbed her by the shoulder.

"She...she could be faking. We don't know what lengths these _things_ will go to."

Annie's glare now rested on the man who spoke.

"Don't worry, trust me on this. If she was faking you'd know." She gave them all oddly reassuring smiles, before motioning them to follow her with Annie in toe. "She's an awful liar."

* * *

She never imagined being a prisoner could be quite so luxurious. And perhaps had fate not said otherwise, she would have been strung up in a cold, damp dungeon, tortured in one way or another until she finally gave them what they wanted. Answers, rather than an apology. Not that she could blame them. Even then, she never felt the need to ask for mercy or pity that she honestly didn't deserve.

There was no rationalizing. She was a murderer. No doubt many of the people who had been in the room with her almost an hour ago had witnessed it first hand.

Yet there she sat on a freshly made bed, changed into a clean nightgown, hair braided and pinned back, and holding the one thing keeping her alive. Something she couldn't quite figure out no matter how long she had to think.

She snuggled the baby close to her chest. A little pink face poked out of the blanket, eyes squished closed as hands moved to touch her. She winced at the pain of the baby's gums, but she brushed the little tiny hairs back. "You're so beautiful."

Her voice was at a practically silent whisper, as by then it was only her and Hange in the room. Though the other woman didn't bother her. Annie was too focused on the wiggling infant that was really starting to wake up. Gingerly, Annie stroked her soft cheeks with her index finger, booping her nose when the baby opened up her mouth to yawn. She stretched her little arms, barely making a noise. Annie found herself particularly grateful for that. Like she'd even need to lose more sleep than she was already about to.

As little fingers curled around her index finger, she smiled, and felt a familiar warmth in her chest she hadn't felt in a long while. _Armin…_

She took in a deep breath. His voice still burned so clear in her mind, as if he had never left. As if she never had to leave him. Bright blue eyes smiled at her, talking so hopefully of a future she always knew they'd never be able to have.

Well, parts of it. As she stared down at their daughter, she wondered how he would have felt if he'd known. Before everything had gone down. If she'd sent a letter or two. Would he be excited, frightened, panicked? Perhaps a mix of all three. His heart was always with his cause. He certainly wouldn't put the Survey Corp aside so soon.

 _"A cottage by the sea!" He said, eyes bright and curious as he showed her the map he'd kept under his pillow for years. "Maybe big enough for me, you, and…"_

 _"I know where that sentence is going."_

 _"C-Can you blame?" Armin snickered, scratching the back of his neck. "It's something to think about. Of course I'd drag you with us when me and Eren and Mikasa see the world. But when we settle that's what I picture. Calm, a little rustic, far away from the walls. A real sense of freedom."_

 _"Is that what you want?"_

 _"Yeah...more than anything."_

Her stomach sank at the memory. It wasn't too long after that she destroyed it all. And he was the one who brought her down in return. There was a certain justice to it, and she could never blame him for ratting her out. He may not have been good to her, but he was a good person.

Far better than she'd ever be.

There was a knock at the cell door, and the baby started to fuss.

"Ah! Come in!" Hange called, jumping up from her seat as another woman walked in.

One she was much more familiar with. Annie's face remained neutral, her surprise more evident in how she clutched the baby close.

"Annie...so it's all true?" Hitch was slow to walk over, and hesitant to speak. _You certainly haven't aged_ , Annie thought, eyebrows raising with her increased suspicion. "I...I-I thought you were dead! I believed that more than you being that titan, and yet…"

She'd never quite seen Hitch cry before. It was almost enough to break her own composure.

"Annie, we thought you'd like to have someone a little more familiar and trusted at your guard, yeah?" Hange placed a hand on Hitch's shoulder. "Better than some crummy middle aged veteran man, I figured!"

"...Thank you for the consideration." _What are you playing at?_

She sat up a bit, still holding her baby close. The chain that linked the one cuff she wore clanked, again causing the infant to fuss. The bundles movements caught Hitch's eyes, and Annie could see just as much confusion festering as was in her own.

"Wait, Annie, that's not-?"

"It is." She answered curtly, taking in an audible gulp. "She is."

Hitch moved closer. "Hah...HAH you're kidding right. This is a joke?! That's not possible, even for you!"

"Well, let's just say I thought the exact same thing a couple hours ago." Annie lifted the baby up, holding her against her chest with one arm as she pulled the small sheet under the baby, covering herself. "I don't understand everything either, apparently." _Unlike some people._

The other woman practically sneered, not completely sure whether she should laugh, cry, or be pissed at her former roommate for a multitude of reasons.

"Wow! Annie here hasn't talked this much since she face-planted out of the crystal!" The third, bespectacled woman in the room cheerily spoke up, patting Hitch on the back. Annie shot her a glare, once again easily ignored by Hange. "Far cleaner than torture, I will say that." She tapped her chin, momentarily looking off in thought. "Though I'm not so sure what the commander will say about that. Luckily for you, I can't do anything unless ordered."

"How kind." _Understandable, none the less._

"Well, I'll leave it to you, soldier! I'm sure we'll be meeting again very soon when the rest of the corp arrives in a bit." Hange waved goodbye to the other two women, before turning to leave.

The door closed slowly, and the women were left to themselves.

"..."

"..."

The awkwardness set in fast. It was easy enough for her to read the confliction in Hitch's gaze.

"You don't have to stay here." Annie spoke up, bouncing the newborn on her shoulder. "I've been a little compromised."

"...he's in the survey corp, isn't he?"

Annie froze completely, tensing at the very mention. Her anxiety must have been contagious. The baby was quick to make a none-too-pleased noise.

She didn't need to respond. Hitch was already backing away toward the door. "He...wait a second."

Annie furrowed her brow. "Don't."

"He needs to know. This could put him at risk and he needs to know."

"..." She was at a complete loss for words. Before Annie could protest, Hitch fled fast, and she was left alone with her baby in the holding cell. Possibly meant to be guarded at all times. Unforeseen circumstances notwithstanding.

When she heard loud, hard footsteps coming from the upstairs, it hit her. She started to feel sick. _I don't need this, I don't need any of this._

Annie was almost afraid of crushing the infant from how hard her fears made her hold on. Her heart thudded uncontrollably in her chest as she felt increasingly dizzy. Thoughts spun in her head, ranging from _"What the hell am I supposed to tell him,"_ and _"How long will it take for them to schedule my execution already?"_

One thought in particular managed to stick out. _Will he even want to see me?_

She took a deep breath, and tried staring down at the baby for some sort of comfort. After all, she took every bit of comfort in the fact that even if Armin completely and understandably shut her out, he would never do the same to his own child. She'd have love in her life. None that Annie ever knew in her own childhood.

Father. Perhaps it was best he never found out about this. Did he think she was dead? Annie couldn't help but wish he did. Even if part of her yearned for home, yearned for one last hug from the man she still held so much resentment and affection for.

Though she couldn't imagine he'd take too kindly to finding out that she rather _intimately_ fraternized with the enemy, with some completely unintentional results.

 _Great_ , she thought, if going home was now impossible than she officially had nowhere. And only a small, hours old baby girl to think of besides herself. One that would surely be taken away, and for the better.

For what seemed like an eternity she sat there pondering. _Would they hurt her? What would they do to her? Is she even safe? If I could escape could I take her with me? Would they use her like they used me? Or is she better here….with him?_

She slumped down, covering her tired face with one hand as the other held her daughter close. _I'd rather they'd just killed me back then at this point-_

For the second time that evening, Annie forgot how to breathe.

She shot up, holding the baby girl with both arms as her heart practically leapt from her chest.

Bright blue eyes, filled with hope in a world full of shit. God, how she'd missed them.

Said eyes were blown wide, completely in shock as his mouth fell open. Fingers combed through his unruly blond hair as he slumped against the doorframe.

If she couldn't breathe, he was absolutely suffocating. She'd never seen him quite so muddled.

For a moment, she swore the air in the room became thicker. Anxiety built in her stomach, sending chills across her body as their gazes met.

He looked...older. Not by much. Maybe an inch or two taller, but certainly filled out more. Hair was certainly cut shorter, perhaps for practicality's sake. As if she needed more of a reason to be speechless.

Finally, his gaze fell on the bundle in her arms. She lowered her hold, revealing the infant as she slept.

No matter how long she pondered it, the words wouldn't come out. And the silence was draining. Finally, when Annie spoke, there was only one thing she could say.

"I'm sorry."

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Originally posted a couple months ago on AO3**

 **Writing this chapter, I pretty much had Lifeform by Daughter playing on repeat, fun fact.**

 **Wow this is. The fastest I've EVER updated a fic. It helps that I already had half this chapter written a month ago lol. Anyway, writing childbirth is a pain because dddddddamn son it is a beautifully disgusting process. Really gotta pick and choose how detailed to go. Personally, I chose the more vague route, especially in regards to the aftermath, because wow it is nasty and I would subject y'all to reading that.**  
 **ANYWAY feedback encouraged, especially comments and kudos and the like. I do hope you enjoy. 3**

 **-Katie**


	3. Fool Me Once

_I don't like the terms "good person" or "bad person" because it's impossible to be entirely good to everyone, or entirely bad to everyone. To some, you are a good person, while to others, you are a bad person."_

Armin threaded his fingers through his hair as he stared in the mirror over his dresser. He noted the bags under his eyes, and he noticed the way his haircut framed his face. It was a different look for him, but he liked it.

 _It's nice to not look like Historia anymore._ He shuddered, and gnawed on his lip. _Thinking about it will get you nowhere._ He looked in the mirror again, and he saw the light leave his eyes once more.

His hands were shaking now, and he felt his throat tighten. But, he held his head high anyway, moving through his room and out the door. It was time for dinner, and he could feel his stomach growl at him, even if the thought of eating made him sort of nauseous.

As he walked down the stairs, he noticed that the world was quiet, completely silent minus the small click of heels on wood. He stood at the second to bottom stair searching.

"Where is everyone?"

It seemed then, he was truly talking to himself, and he took a deep breath.

 _"Armin!"_ The shrillness in her voice made him jump.

 _ **"Armin!"**_

She skid in front of him, eyes wide with fear, anger, frustration. There were so many emotions in her Armin was surprised she could still say his name.

"Hitch, what's wrong?" He asked, taking the final step down from the stairs. "What's going on?!"

"It's Annie."

"Ann-"

"She's out of the crystal." She interrupted through gasping breaths.

 _No… She can't be… Is she…._

"You have to see her, now!" She chirped, dragging him by the wrist through the building. It seemed so bare without people strolling through the halls, and Armin felt his stomach rise up to his throat again.

Hitch had almost pushed him down the stairs, apologizing profusely before closing the door. Armin hurriedly moved past the cells, before he saw her.

The silence pierced through his ears. He couldn't hear his own heartbeat, and he thought maybe, somehow, he had died. Maybe this was his punishment. It sure felt like his heart had quit: stopped beating.

His fingers ran through his hair.

Then, he saw the small shape in her arms, bundled up. He could feel his eyes widen. Anxiety struck him and his heart was beating out of his chest. His head felt clouded, and light all at once. _What? What is… No…. No. It can't be. It's not real, this isn't real this is–_

"I'm sorry." She spoke.

He almost hadn't heard her, due to the ringing in his ears. Armin approached Annie's cage. His feet moved like lead, and his head felt even heavier. _Speak. Say something._

He unlocked the door, and peeled back the metal, moving in and closing it behind him. There were chains on her wrists, and belts around her legs. They were unforgiving, he noticed. She was barely able to hold the small thing in her arms against her chest. As he moved closer, he realized it _was_ real. _A baby… Her baby? M-My…._

"Do you want to hold her?" She asked him, softly. Annie's voice was heavy with fear, terror.

He let the stiffness in his shoulders falter as she tried to hold out the infant to him. Armin quietly nodded, and took the small bundle into his arms.

"Is… Is she mine?"

Annie retracted into herself, arms folded as her brows furrowed softly. "...As if I would ever let anyone else touch me."

Armin shrugged with one shoulder, and kept his eyes on the tiny figure in his arms. The weight in his stomach dropped, and his shoulders fell. "Oh…" He could feel his eyes soften, and his heart was pounding. His head was starting to clear. "Well, hello, little one." He whispered softly as he began to bounce. Her eyes opened, and she looked at him. She had bright blue eyes, but so did every newborn. He had learned that a year and a half ago.

Hands reached for his finger, smaller than anything he had ever seen. She was beautiful. Her hands took grip of his finger, and Armin smiled. For the first time in months, Armin felt warmth in his chest. He bounced her gently.

"I haven't named her, yet." Annie spoke. "I was thinking... maybe you'd want to name her."

Armin nodded as he heard Annie's voice. He cooed a bit at the small baby in his arms. "You're quite adorable, aren't you?" He whispered quietly. The baby's legs kicked around in his arms, trying to unswaddle the blanket she was tucked into. "I think someone is getting hungry."

"Hand her to me."

Armin moved over and placed the child in her arms. Annie's fingers pulled down the collar of her shirt, and brought her breast out.

Armin's gaze immediately turned the other way. His ears turned red, and he kept his eyes downcast.

"Oh what, you're not flustered by this are you? This isn't training, Armin."

The moment she spoke, the air grew heavy, and they both winced. _You're right, it isn't training._

"I m-meant-"

Armin turned around and watched as his baby's hands push against the skin of her breast. "I know what you meant, Annie. You're right this isn't training. We're both adults."

She took in a noticeable gulp. "...Yeah. You've grown."

"You don't look any older."

He watched as she brushed her fingertips through the infant's fine hair. "How would you know? You won't look at me."

"I'm staring right at-"

"Why won't you look me in the eyes, Armin?"

 _If I see them, then this is real. I'm not sure I want it to be. I don't want to see them again. Not after this. I can't. I can't deal with the guilt._

 _How could either of us be considered human?_

"Armin, you look like you're going to pass out. Can you… Come sit on the bed."

He took a step back, and crossed his arms over his chest. He could feel himself curl in on himself. Maybe he could disappear, if he held himself tight enough.

"I won't hurt you. I could never."

"But you did." The crack in his voice made him ache. "You did hurt me. You… You never loved me, did you? This was all part of your plan, wasn't it? Manipulate the one person who could give in to you. You became my weakness and you exploited it." His hands threw down by his sides in balled up fists. "You made me fall in love with you and you brought her into this world without a care in the world. You didn't care who you dragged into this. As long as you could go home."

"Armin you're wrong-"

"About what, Annie? How could you lie to me like that? How could you tell me that you loved me? I was in denial. I kept my mouth shut. I didn't want to believe it. I couldn't… I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe the person I fell in love with could kill people like that." _But who are you to talk?_

"You think I wanted this? You think I planned to get pregnant. You think I wanted to-"

"Don't lie to me, Annie!"

The break in their words was the small bundle, crying.

Armin stepped back, letting the metal bars cool down the heat through his back. _You let your guard down again. You can't get mad like that._ Armin ran his hands into his hair and gripped, pulling. He desperately wanted to scream.

"Shh shh shhh." Annie hushed as she bounced the wailing child in her arms. "It's okay, it's okay."

He watched numbly for a moment, letting his chest heave up and down before moving to a still. "Hand her to me."

Once she was in his arms again, Armin sat at the edge of the bed.

 _"On a wagon,_

 _bound from market,_

 _there's a calf with a mournful eye._

 _High above him, there's a swallow_

 _Winging swiftly through the sky_

 _How the winds are laughing_

 _They laugh with all their might_

 _Love and laugh the whole day through_

 _And half the summer's night,"_

Armin sung softly, brushing the little hairs on his daughter's head back. He could hear the resonance in the room, and he felt the song heavy in his chest. He glanced at Annie, whose eyes were downcast. His heart ached for her. He swallowed down the feeling rising in the back of his throat, and looked back down at his baby girl.

 _"Donna, Donna, Donna, Donna,_

 _Donna, Donna, Donna, Don,_

 _Donna, Donna, Donna, Donna,_

 _Donna, Donna, Donna, Don_

 _Stop complaining, said the farmer_

 _Who told you what had to be?_

 _Why can't you have wings to fly with_

 _Like the swallow so proud and free_

 _How the winds are laughing_

 _They laugh with all their might_

 _Love and laugh the whole day through_

 _And half the summer's night."_

She was calming down, and her eyes were looking up at his face with curiosity. He smiled. Her mouth hung open, and her piercing eyes were staring up at him. She was too cute. He noticed then her nose was a little bit pointier than his. _You'll have your mother's eyes, won't you? You already have her nose._

 _" Donna, Donna, Donna, Donna,_

 _Donna, Donna, Donna, Don,_

 _Donna, Donna, Donna, Donna,_

 _Donna, Donna, Donna, Don_

 _Calves are easily bound and slaughtered_

 _Never knowing the reason why_

 _Oh why can't you have wings to fly with_

 _Like the swallow- you've learned to fly._

 _How the winds are laughing_

 _They laugh with all their might_

 _Laugh and laugh the whole day through_

 _And half the summer's night_

 _Donna, Donna, Donna, Donna,_

 _Donna, Donna, Donna, Don,_

 _Donna, Donna, Donna, Donna,_

 _Donna, Donna, Donna, Don. "_

The baby was asleep now, and Armin smiled. She was nuzzled up into him, against his chest. She was so small, so fragile. For a moment, Armin was unsure if she was safe in his arms.

His gaze moved to Annie once again. She held her hand over her mouth, as she looked at the child in his hands. With her eyes focused, Armin decided he could look at her features safely. She looked the same age. A little older, but he wasn't sure if it was due to the lack of meat on her bones, or whether pregnancy had aged her. Her cheekbones stuck out like knives, and her jaw looked like it would break free of her. The baby probably stolen the nutrients Annie still had in her. Her lips were still full, and the gloss in her eyes were still there. She wasn't dead like he was–

inside, anyways.

"You still want me to name her?" He asked, knowing the answer well. Why he bothered to ask, he had no clue.

"I do." She said pulling her focus from the child. He could feel her search for his eyes, but he kept it away yet again.

Armin swallowed the lump in his throat. He stood up then, in a split moment of confidence, and moved next to Annie. He sat on the bed beside her, and held _their_ daughter in his arms.

He had imagined this moment before. His image was skewed, but this situation came as a surprise. _To me, anyways._

Many times he had imagined him holding their child, sitting on the bed together as they spoke of their duties for the next morning. He could clearly see Annie's smile, and her cheeks still full from pregnancy. Her eyes, warm. She'd take the baby into her arms and put the bundle into the crib. She'd move over to him, lay on his chest and kiss him slowly. He would wonder then, if she was happy. The smile on her face when she slept would answer his thoughts and insecurities, and he'd fall asleep with her.

But, this wasn't a dream. It was reality.

 _Is reality supposed to be a nightmare?_

"Abigail." He whispered as he looked at his child again.

"Abigail?" Annie asked as she pressed a kiss to the child's head. The clanging of chains stirred the baby in his arms, but she settled again within seconds. "I like it."

* * *

 **A/N:**

 _ **Originally posted on ao3!**_

 **Sorry it took so long. College is hell, as is my brain. Enjoy, motherdongs. -Phae**


	4. Comfort

_Annie never realized the way purple looked on her. She always thought she was too pale for those sorts of blues, pinks. But, no. As she looked in the mirror, she found that the hyacinth brought out the pink in her cheeks, the blue in her eyes, and the red of her lips._

 _A simple white dress with very little shape hung from her shoulders. With daylilies in her hands, Annie felt her heart race._

 _I love him._

 _She felt a lightness in her step that was practically unfamiliar. As if she were floating by, ignorant to the glares and scornful eyes around her. All she could see were his. Soft, wise, gentle. Blue as the ocean he'd talked so much about._

 _"I do."_

 _"I do."_

 _Annie could feel his lips against hers, and she reveled in the feeling._

 _But, within a moment it shattered. The world around her was crumbling into pieces, pulling fragments of the world around her bit by bit._

 _"How could anyone love a monster like you?" The world was spinning._

 _People started falling down into blackness. "She's stupid. Doesn't she know better?"_

 _"I could never love someone with that much blood on her hands."_

Annie shot forward in her bed, pulled back by rough chains on her wrists. She could hear her daughter crying. A dream, or a nightmare, she wasn't sure.

She reached down into her crib and lifted the infant, holding her close to her chest.

* * *

There were things in life much more cruel than a dream.

She didn't want to believe it, but she could feel the ache in her chest as once again.

Abigail lay in her arms as she fed, and Annie squeezed her close. There wasn't a lot of milk, and she knew Abigail would continue to be hungry.

Armin had been bringing milk supplements to make sure she wasn't completely lacking in nutrients, but, she was still so small.

Her hands were soft, Annie realized as her thumb was being squeezed to death.

 _Strong little tike._ She thought, letting herself give a soft smile.

For the first time in what felt like years, she was alone. Well, as alone as she could get. Out of her eye sight there were at least two guards at all time, waiting for the time she was sure to break out and attempt to slaughter them. How much they actually believed she was going to do that in her situation, she didn't even know.

The solitude was always welcome, something she embraced from an early age. But as it drew on that morning, she couldn't help but feel anxious. Everything, down to her newborn daughter, was far too calm. Though only moments ago, Abigail made sure no one else would be getting a nap that morning. Her lungs were certainly strong.

 _Abigail._ The name sat right with her. Classic, pretty. Saying it brought an easy smile to her weary face, though she hadn't seen the one that had given it to her in hours. Annie couldn't help but wonder, how long had that name been in his mind?

 _You were always the one to look toward the future, blondie._

She certainly doubted his mind was currently on the happy future he'd imagined almost two years ago. Not when he was so stuck on the idea that it was all a carefully planned deception on Annie's part, anyway. She couldn't blame him, though.

Understanding him didn't make his words hurt any less.

 _Urrghh._ Her stomach growled, making her groan along with it. Annie slumped back against the pillows, clutching her baby close, and messing up the braid in her hair. With the baby asleep, and no one coming to her for questions or, dare she say, food, all Annie could do was stare at the damp dungeon walls and be left with her own thoughts.

Annie had come to realize that being left with her thoughts was a dangerous thing. She thought back to the first night of her odd freedom, with everything happening so fast, and how so much of it was a painful, bloody blur. Shouts of confused members of the military all morphed together in her memory, with perhaps the exception of Hanji and her old roommate. To her credit, Hitch seemed to be the only one with any semblance of joy at her return. Somehow, it didn't bring her much comfort. _He still barely looks at me._

 _"You made me fall in love with you and you brought her into this world without a care in the world. You didn't care who you dragged into this. As long as you could go home."_

Annie took in a deep breath, but it did little to settle the nausea she felt at the memory. His voice was so clear, she could almost hear the crack again. There were few things she hated more than the sound of Armin's voice right as he'd begun to cry. The fact that she caused it this time only made it worse.

 _Maybe you're right_ , she thought, staring numbly up at the ceiling. _I already committed murder, who knows what else I would have done to get home. But,_

She closed her eyes, taking in another deep breath. _It was all painfully real. You and I._

Annie snapped her eyes open again at the sound of footsteps drawing closer to her cell. Part of her was thankful, as it stopped her mind from drifting into the pit of self loathing that was becoming all too common.

She found herself sorely disappointed when she took a wiff, and couldn't find even the smallest hint of food. Instead, Hange appeared at her cell, with a small grin on her face, and several other members of the SC trailing behind her. At her side, as well, was Annie's former roommate.

"This really is a dreadful place to be kept waiting." The chuckle she received was comforting. She didn't like the eerie sounds of heels on concrete. But seeing the quirk in Hanji's lips gave her a strange sense of ease. "But I suppose it could have been much worse."

"I can only imagine," Annie began, sitting up in bed, her baby clutched close to her chest. "that you're a little disappointed that you didn't get to put me in the iron maiden."

The curdling laugh that rolled from Hanji's throat caused the hairs on the back of Annie's neck to stand on end. Whatever ease she had felt before, quickly vanished.

With her glasses pushed up into her bangs, Hanji walked into the cell, motioning for Hitch and a couple other subordinates to follow her. The first thing Annie noticed was a heavy pair of handcuffs in one of the soldiers hands. She could feel her stomach sink at the sight.

"It's spring, you know?" The older woman commented, taking out a set of keys from her pant pocket. "You came out at a beautiful time of year! Your eyes are going to be hurting, though."

Annie stiffened, though the chains around her were momentarily freed. Her once sleeping daughter stirred against her chest, as if she was pushing to get away.

"Good morning, cutie!" Hanji reached toward Abigail, and Annie was quick to retract. The glare on her face sent visible chills up the spines of Hanji's subordinates, all of whom were quick to back away. With the exception of Hitch, and Hanji herself, of course, who knit her brow. "Oh, I'm not going to hurt an infant, Annie. Especially one with such adorable round cheeks! Hitch?"

The other girl stepped to Annie's side, putting out her arms and motioning for Annie to hand the baby over.

 _You can't be so selfish_ , Annie thought as her grip on the infant loosened. _Not anymore. Not with her._

With heavy reluctance and a weak poker face, Annie handed Abigail over to Hitch. She felt the harsh cold of the handcuffs while her arms were still well and warm.

She didn't fight it, nor could she speak up. Annie knew what was coming, and she was only surprised it took so long. She couldn't help but wonder what methods of interrogation they'd use on her. Looking at her fussy daughter, she was hopeful they'd at least spare her the physical bits. As if it would be of any use. The moment they unchained her from the bed and her feet hit the floor, Annie felt woozy. She nearly fell back onto the bed, were it not for Hanji's quick grab.

"While all of your superficial wounds seem to have vanished, I guess your muscles and bones are still adjusting. Well, if Eren's any example, I'm sure it's only a matter of time…" Hanji conversed mainly with herself, her mind churning through every bit of information.

 _They still have him? I guess I'm not the only who failed in my mission._

 _Then again, you two failed the moment you got Marco killed._

Her two former, for lack of a better term, comrades crossed her mind little those last few days before she crystallized. For the better. The more Annie thought of the two boys, the angrier she got. Even then, she could feel her fists ball and crack despite the chains and her shaky steps through the dark halls.

She was abruptly, yet thankfully brought out of her thoughts when another wave of nausea hit her. This time, brought on by the blinding light of the morning sun.

Her eyes were quick to squeeze shut, and she barely held back her gasp.

"What did you expect after sleeping for 18 months?" Hanji quipped, snickering as Annie's eyes slowly began to adjust to the sudden change. When she could finally see what was in front of her, Annie was greeted by clear blue skies over a castle courtyard.

The only thing she could conclude was that they were still in the confines of the inner wall, most likely Stohess. She took comfort in the somewhat familiar surroundings. A memory stuck out to her that she could have sworn happened just the day before.

Standing in a similar courtyard, hearing the voices of people like Marlowe and Boris chat on about things she found herself more interested in then she would have liked. She remembered Hitch's laugh, her own distant stare, on the last day before…

Two pairs of hands grabbed her forearms tight, making it so she could barely move.

"Protocol. You understand, don't you?"

"...Yeah." Annie furrowed her brow, keeping her gaze on the ground as they walked across the courtyard to a small wooden door that could easily be missed. Her cuffed wrists began to chafe. Their grips on her arms were merciless, as if she could do much in her current state.

Annie's understanding in their treatment melted into frustration the longer she was kept away from Abigail. The pain in her wrists and forearms she could take. The anxiety of being away from her newborn, after everything, felt so much worse.

The wooden door opened into a small, damp corridor. A dungeon possibly much older than the one she was being kept in. They walked slowly down the stairs, and down the hall she could hear voices becoming louder and louder. The corridor lead into a row of doors. Perhaps old offices or holding cells, Annie guessed.

It didn't take long for her to figure out the reason for the change in location. They could have easily interrogated her in the dungeon she was being kept, but it wasn't good enough. Not small enough, and not nearly further enough underground. _They still think I can transform, huh…_

 _Did he come up with the idea this time as well?_

She ignored the sinking feeling in her stomach, trying her best to get the image of his eyes that day out of her head. Blue and piercing. Accusing, betrayed, hurt. Reading her like an open book.

Her heart nearly leapt out of her chest when Hanji opened a door near the end of the corridor, and she met those very blue eyes.

He was quick, almost too quick, to avert his gaze after holding it for so long.

 _Now I really do feel sick, blondie._

"Take a seat," A voice spoke through her daze, with the hands that held her now pushing her shoulders down till she was planted in a rather uncomfortable wooden chair. It was then she looked across the table to see the origin of the voice. The man slumped forward, a glare on his face that seemed ingrained in his tired eyes.

Captain Levi Ackerman. The last time Annie saw him, the blood of his comrades was still so fresh on her hands. His icy stare let her know perfectly well how he still felt. Hanji sat beside him, leaning forward with folded hands. And behind them, next to Armin (still refusing to look at her,) was another familiar face that she didn't expect to see.

His two toned hair was longer, and his face a little more mature. She doubted the nearly 18 year old Jean was there voluntarily. _What happened to the SC that put you guys in power already?_

"You have a funny way of avoiding severe punishment, you know that?" Levi's tone was surprisingly steady, and subtly harsh as he watched Annie's wrists be chained to the table.

Though his cold stare indicated he expected her to speak, Annie remained indignantly silent. Her eyes flicked up, noting how Armin's head stayed down.

"Oy," Levi snapped his fingers in her face, bringing her attention forward.

"I have nothing to say."

Levi clicked his teeth. Whatever annoyance he felt, Annie could hardly empathise. For her part, she felt overwhelmingly numb.

The man looked above her head at a subordinate standing at the door, and motioned for him to bring something in. Cocking an eyebrow, Annie looked over her shoulder, immediately going wide eyed.

If a tray of breakfast was their bargaining chip, _it's working beautifully-_

" _Ugh-_ " The cuffs and chains around her wrist immediately stopped her short when she lunged toward the food. Annie was almost surprised at the near inhuman snarl that came out of her throat. A glass cutting glare morphed on her face as she lifted her head up to meet Levi's cocked brows.

"You could shove your face in it," He deadpanned, reaching over to grab a slice of toast off the tray. "but that would just be painful to watch."

The sound of her stomach growling made the atmosphere in the room thicken. Her sullen glare only deepened. She knew the unsettling amount of comfort she'd felt was too good to last.

"That's fine. Not like I need nutrients to feed my baby and keep her alive or anything."

"That's not the real issue here."

"What would be more important than a child's life, Captain?"

Her stone face did little to hide the bite in her tone. Without a second word, Levi stood up and removed a key from his pocket, making his way over to Annie's side of the table.

She felt her heart rate spike. The thought of getting to eat finally brought her into a daze, one that was promptly broken the moment Levi let her out of her handcuffs.

"AGH-" She felt her head slam against the table, her cheek pressed hard against the wood. Levi had her arm twisted back, his grip iron tight as she was barely able to struggle.

"If I were you, Leonhardt," He spoke, giving her arm another agonizing twist. "I'd make sure to let my captors know how lucky I feel, and how truly generous they've been in not lobbing off my goddamn head on sight. Don't you agree?"

She took in a sharp breath, trying her best to quell her own pathetic whimpers and embarrassment at being so helpless. Annie couldn't even pull her gaze up to look at Armin. _Is he as angry as I am?_

Levi gave her arm another twist, but didn't say a word. The calm and dissonance of his face as he watched her hold in a cry was enough to make her bite it back out of pure spite.

"...Hm. You're really not making this any fun." He released her arm, and stepped back. Before he reached his seat, he tossed a spoon onto the table, and shocked a heavily breathing Annie back to attention with the sound of metal against hard wood. "Don't eat too fast."

Her icy glare went unnoticed as he sat back down, and Annie focused on calming her nerves and trying not to scarf down the entire bowl of what looked like oatmeal. _If I was at full strength_ , she thought, _I wonder if he would have dared…_

"Do you know where you are, Annie?" Hanji spoke, letting her bad cop partner take rest for a moment as he calmed his tranquil fury down. For a moment, Annie was too focused on the food to even answer.

When she did, it was curt. "Stohess. Inner walls"

"Really hasn't changed much, huh? Though I will say, the damage you caused cost us tremendously in repairs." Hanji let out a sigh, pushing her glasses back up as Annie kept her eyes cast down. "To think, so much of that could have been avoided if you just gave up and came with us. Eren clearly had the upper hand, what with how he was throwing you against those buildings like a rag doll. Even when you were cornered...tell me, Annie, what's your home like? You seemed so determined to get back there."

She lifted up her head, glaring at the woman seated across from her. "It's pretty shitty, to tell you the truth. Is this your round about way of asking me to spill on every little detail of my mission and purpose? Why the titans are here? Why we were here?"

"Oh, no. I wouldn't go that far yet. Neither of us are stupid, Annie. Nor are the boys in the room, yeah?" She flashed Annie with an almost unsettling smile. "It just interests me how desperate you are to get out of these walls. Just like we are. Tell me, did you always have the idea or playing on heartstrings? Certainly, a baby isn't guilty of the sins of her mother, after all."

 _Not like that fact will change how I know she'll be treated._

"No, but she wasn't exactly planned. What happened the other day was just as much a surprise to me as it was to you guys." despite herself, her eyes found their way to Armin, who looked increasingly uncomfortable.

"I'm a selfish, shit excuse for a human being, but I would never bring a child into this world on the basis of my own personal protection." She looked back down, face softening at the image of the infant sleeping in her arms. "I didn't exactly think it was possible, anyway. Believe it or not, there are certain aspects of the nature of titans like myself that I understand just as little as you do."

"Hm. Armin!" Hanji turned around in her chair, eyebrows raised as the fidgeting boy was brought to attention. "You saw her before she transformed that day. Anything noticeable?"

Annie could see him swallow whatever was caught in his throat. She remembered it clearly. Waking up that morning, disheveled and queasy as she reluctantly got out of bed. In her night clothes, she stood sideways toward the mirror, and stared at the sight of a small bump that couldn't be ignored. Something out of place on her usually flat, muscular abdomen.

Pushing back the bile climbing up her throat, she'd grabbed the hoodie off her desk chair and slipped it on over her head. To her relief, Annie could barely see what was under it. Surely, with the exception of the only other person who knew, no one else would notice. Not even someone with the sharpest of eyes. _Not even him._

Armin shook his head. "The only thing of note was the ring on her finger."

To her own frustration, Annie couldn't read his face. Nothing more than confliction being fought back fiercely.

"So you didn't know?"

" _If_ I did know," She spoke carefully, calmly, trying her best to not make herself sound more despicable than she must have already. "I was a little more than certain that she wouldn't survive another transformation and battle."

It was Levi's turn to speak, with his mouth hidden under his folded hands.

"Congratulations, you've taught us all a thing or two about fucking without caution. You don't seem like anything more than an icy bitch to me. Who was it? One of the other two traitors? Reiner and Bertholdt. Must'a been close with them."

The insinuation alone was enough to make her gag.

"Oh, _please_ ," Her face contorted into obvious disgust. She spoke up so suddenly even to her own self. Her cool demeanor already long past expired. The thought of one of them even coming close to touching her made her stomach churn much like it did back then. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Armin bite back a snicker. Beat. Annie swallowed the lump in her throat. "Give me some credit."

Levi furrowed his brow, but for the first time that evening she heard Jean speak up.

"I believe her. Those two were always around each other, but rarely ever with Annie. I...never got the impression you were friends with them."

Jean stared right at her, and for a moment Annie felt a familiar knot in her stomach. The same knot that tugged at her whenever Marco's eyes appeared in her mind. Wide, full of terror and tears, pleading for the life he probably knew he was about to lose. Thanks to her, on the order of a boy he no doubt saw as a friend.

She wondered if Jean knew of Marco's fate. If so, he was doing a good job of not stabbing her right there.

"My mission was mine alone. I never wanted anything to do with either of them." _And they were the ones who had been training for that mission longer. Incompetent, that's the word I would use._

With a sigh, Levi nodded his head as Hanji mentally crossed the two out.

As the two deliberated, Annie took a spoonful of oatmeal. The bland taste didn't bother her too much. It was all her stomach could take at that point. It was almost delicious, distracting her enough so that she didn't immediately notice the two staring rather intently at her.

"You're not helping yourself or anyone by trying to protect him, you know."

Annie kept her eyes downcast, despite feeling Levi's glare. Nothing could help the increasingly red hue of her cheeks. Despite herself, she peaked up, just barely meeting with Armin.

Her heart started racing. He looked far passed anxious.

 _I'm sorry._

"I'm not protecting anyone…" She looked toward her interrogators again, trying her best to keep a poker face. "I just don't think it's any of your business."

"I suppose it's also not our business that you murdered over two dozen of our comrades in cold blood?"

Annie took in a sharp breath, eyebrows furrowed. Even so, she forced a small smile on her face. A twitch at the corner of her lips. _Cold blood…_

"I suppose there's no way around it. I'm simply a cold hearted killer. One who failed her mission. What use am I in this world?" Her fist balled around the spoon in her hand, her eyes became wide. A faux innocence she both mastered and failed. "You should know I'm also quite fragile, Captain. My neck is small. I'm sure my execution will be a clean one, with my head flying off with one swing of the axe."

A suffocating silence filled the room. For her part, Annie couldn't tell if her words were meant to mock or an almost honest request. It's how she'd prefer it. Off with her head in one fell swoop. No pain. Blindfolded, only darkness. And a promise her daughter would be safe.

 _My daughter ._ The thought of Abigail was enough to break her composure. A little girl growing up in a cruel world, caged and surrounded by those who no doubt held resentment. Motherless. It all sounded far too familiar. Despite the company, her eyes started to well up. _No_ , she thought. _Execution was the easy way out. I deserve to live with this-_

" _MMPH-_ "

In a split second, her jaw was throbbing.

She had no time to look up before Levi's fist collided with her other cheek. A tooth flew out just as fast.

"C-Captain!" A voice shouted, one that made her heart race.

"What's wrong, Arlert?" Levi grabbed Annie by the hair, his other hand clutching tightly at the collar of her nightgown. "Her fragile face will recover, after all."

Annie found herself looking into the man's tired grey eyes, shaking as she couldn't even find the strength to fight back. The unmistakable taste of blood hit her tongue, and she couldn't tell whether it was from her mouth or her nose.

Her bruised cheek swelled, making it too painful to talk. Though her pained grunts were more than obvious.

"...Fragile. Hm." Finally, Levi set her down. Or rather, roughly pushed her back into her seat. She leaned forward, clutching her churning stomach as she closed her eyes, willing away the pain. "Get her back to her cell. We can't move forward without approval."

Though breathing heavily, she looked up at him with raised brows. _That's all you're asking?_

Hanji nodded, and hopped up to Annie, once again handcuffing her and with a surprising amount of gentleness helped her up from her seat.

"You understand, don't you Annie?" She asked, trying to stand the other girl up straight. "That cutie still needs you, and we may too. If you cooperate, of course!" There was a glint in her stare that sent a shiver up Annie's spine. "I'm sure your team player points can only go up from here, yes?"

Annie didn't even try to answer. She looked away, pushing down whatever was trying to come up her throat.

"Armin!" Hanji turned toward her subordinate, who quickly stood at attention. It almost came as a shock to Annie. She hadn't realized how tall he'd gotten. "Lead my team in this all important mission of taking her back to her cell for me, please? Levi and I have some things to discuss. Jean, you're dismissed for the night."

"Thank god. My legs were starting to fall asleep." Jean stretched his arms up, yawning before quickly walking through the door. He paused, however, only briefly as he passed by his former classmate. There was a look in his eyes Annie couldn't quite recognize. Maturity. And rage. Plenty to go around.

Annie closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. Now she really was going to be sick. Especially as Armin stepped up, taking Hanji's place by Annie's side.

Unlike Jean, he didn't look at her. His gaze was ahead, with hardened brows and eerily perfect posture. Yet as she continued to stare at him, her heart almost skipped a beat. His blue eyes were the same. Her favorite, that small hint of hope still present, even as he refused to look at her. She wanted to reach out, despite the handcuffs. Feel his hands, feel _him_ . Were his hands still as warm as the last time he held her? His touch as gentle?

Did his thoughts still turn to her during those almost two years she was asleep? Or was it nothing but regret and hatred?

Standing next to him, she couldn't help but feel a strange, almost misplaced sense of comfort. It was the effect he always had on her, afterall.

* * *

"I can take it from here."

They stopped at the edge of the prison corridor, with Armin's subordinates stiffening.

For her part, Annie was still shocked at the idea that he even had subordinates. As if he wasn't barely seventeen years old. Veteran, squad leader, strategist. _And now a father. I haven't made things any easier for you, have I?_

"Sir, are you sure it's safe-?"

Armin looked back at them, smiling as sincere as he could while still trying to maintain his air of authority. "It's one hallway underground. I can handle walking a chained up, weakened prisoner, don't you think?"

She watched as the soldiers wordlessly answered him. Nodding their heads, they slowly turned around and shut the door behind them.

The silence wasn't long, but she felt every second of it. He stood close to her in that cramped corridor, reaching deep into his pocket as Annie waited for him to say something. Anything.

Or to grace her with a look or two after everything that happened in that interrogation room. The air was stifling. With how observant she knew he was, Annie couldn't help but wonder if he could read how downright scared she was in there.

"He...he really hit you hard, didn't he?" The sound of Armin's casual tone of voice was a shock, but not as much as the goosebumps she felt when he put a hand on her cheek, tipping her chin up to face him.

 _You….really have grown._ His face was so close, Annie practically feel his breath on her nose. Her face burned as she wondered what he could be doing, entertaining the thought of him pressing his lips against hers, perhaps saying he forgave her…

These hopes were dashed when she saw what he had brought out from his pocket. A handkerchief, clean yet slightly dampened.

"Lean your head back a bit."

Annie closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath as he began to wipe away the drying blood from her nose. "I'm- I didn't know that would happen. It wasn't planned. I'm sorry."

She furrowed her brow, opening her eyes to a sullen Armin. His touch was gentle, especially as he went over her still swollen cheeks.

"Why would you apologize to me? I'm sure it's nothing compared to what they'd do if Abigail wasn't around." The mention of their daughter seemed to soften him. "I suppose it's what I deserve, wouldn't you agree?"

He paused. With a deep breath, he momentarily took the cloth off her face.

"I...I don't hate you, Annie." He looked puzzled, as if he was shocked that those words left his lips. "You aren't a bad person. Your actions, yes, but you…"

Annie could hear her heart pounding out of her chest as their closeness started to hit her. Even more than that, his words. His voice. Despite everything, she found the smallest of smiles creep up on her lips.

"After everything, I can still be a good person for you I guess, Tiger-" She bit her lip, cheeks growing hot as his old nickname slipped. It was strange. For a moment she could have sworn he perked up. "...sorry."

"Don't be." He finally continued to clean the blood off her face. "Also, they were right about something in there. You shouldn't be protecting me."

She cocked an eyebrow, the smile dropping. "I'm not protecting anyone. I said that already."

"Annie…" He sighed, finishing up what he was doing. "I know what you're doing. Besides, they trust me. If they know I'm her father, it might give her a better chance. Maybe even give you a better chance."

"I don't want you to be seen a traitor."

"I won't be." He clutched her forearm as they made their way back to her cell. "Just, keep that in mind next time it's brought up."

Annie looked forward, practically ignoring his words. Hell, he knew she could be stubborn. There was a time where he loved her for it.

As they approached her cell, she could hear the sounds of her daughter waking up. The easiest way to return the smile to her face. She started to relax as Armin unlocked the door, knowing on the other side was her baby in the arms of someone she at least could trust to not hurt her.

Of course, it was a day of surprises already. When Annie saw the woman holding her baby, her stomach sank as old memories of fierce competition came into her mind.

"She's a quiet little thing. At least compared to who I usually deal with." Raven hair atop ivory skin. A red scarf draped around her neck, and a smile on her lips.

"Oh, Mika I didn't expect you to beat us here." Armin approached her, and kissed her cheek. The color drained from Annie's face. Especially as she noticed something different about the girl.

From what she remembered, Mikasa Ackerman never had to hide a stomach.

"You...what are you doing here?" Her tone sounded far more biting than she had intended. After all, the last time Annie and Mikasa were face to face, the latter was cutting off the formers fingers before kicking her off a wall. _Truly a beast ._

"Babysitting." Her glare was familiar. Annie had matched it many times. "Armin, I told you to be careful. Did you try at all to be cautious?"

"M-Mikasa, please!" His face was beet red. Mikasa handed Abigail off to him, and the casual brush of their hands and easy smiles around each other sent shivers up Annie's spine.

"I don't think you're one to talk in this situation, Ackerman." She made her way to her bed, and the two women found themselves in a familiar lock of scowls. _Please don't tell me that's…_

Armin handed the baby to Annie, not noticing the discomfort and anxiety on her face. And it seemed the crowd would only grow bigger.

"Mama!" A little boys voice could be heard running down the hall among the distant protest of prison guards. "Mamaaaaaa!"

It wasn't long before the owner of the voice bounced into the room and right into the arms of a waiting Mikasa.

Annie clutched Abby close, sinking down into her pillows, completely lost in all of the sudden commotion. _How long have I been gone again?_

"Excuse me, I believe I told you not to follow me, sir." It was odd hearing such a playful tone from Mikasa Ackerman of all people. "Have you been good?"

He shook his head, and wrapped his little arms around her neck.

With the same raven hair and ivory skin, the resemblance was striking. Though he couldn't have even been two yet. Eyebrows furrowed, Annie tried to find the other resemblance. The way Armin smiled, she couldn't help but feel downright queasy.

She would quickly find that her dread and anxiety were as pointless as they were silly when the obvious answer to her questions found his way into her cell as well.

"P-Peter Jaeger, when did you become such an amazing runner?!" Eren Jaeger, older and maturing. His presence did nothing for her turning stomach. There she sat, completely compromised as the original object of her mission, the reason she was sent off for the slaughter, played with his toddler son and kissed his love with a strange amount of passion.

Her former friend didn't seem to notice her immediately. She was beyond grateful.

"I swear, if I was anything like this as a kid…"

"You were, Eren. You were much worse."

Annie could hear Armin laugh. Something that made her breath catch.

"This is a very inappropriate place for a family gathering!" He teased, pushing on Eren's shoulder. The jarring shift in mood began to swing back, however, as Eren turned to see the prisoner in the cell.

She was already uncomfortable and awkward. Annie didn't realize just how bad it could get.

Another suffocating silence. She wasn't sure how many she could take in one day. Abigail, of course, ended the silence with her own cries.

"She's probably hungry," Armin said quietly. Peter squirmed from Eren's arms and took off to the bed, much to Eren's dismay.

"Peter come on, leave the girl alone."

Yet, he didn't. His bright green eyes were staring up at her. The toddler's eyes drifted to the bundle in her arms, and Annie quietly moved the blanket to show Abigail's face to Peter.

His hand moved to touch the baby's cheek. Nervous at first, Annie decided to let him.

Abigail squirmed, her watery eyes shutting tight at first before relaxing against the little boys touch.

"...Mine!"

"Oh no, I know that look. Eren, your son is claiming the baby as his."

"Why are you telling me?"

"I'm not letting a Jaeger take my daughter!"

"Well excuse- Wait, _your_ daughter?!"

"He really is blind."

The confusion and frustration on Eren's face was matched only by the confusion on Annie's. The three were so casual in the presence of someone who was admittedly an enemy, who they personally brought down. A toddler at their side, with Mikasa expecting another one.

Forget another time, she felt like she stepped into a new world.

"Mikasa, did you know?!"

"Of course I knew. As if Armin could get something like that passed me." She lifted Peter up on her hip, and had a hard time keeping her smile back as Eren combed his fingers through his hair. "I was less concerned with her treatment of him, as opposed to you. She didn't beat him every day. Though my concerns were far from...unfounded."

He furrowed his brow, momentarily directing a glare at Annie. For a split second, she saw the rage and passion she knew from the Eren Jaeger of two years ago. His green eyes flashed at her with a vengeance. Yet, she saw something else.

Sadness? Empathy? Mourning for the loss of a former friend.

It was hard not to be hurt. Though she had to admit, it stung less than the anger and pain she caused of a certain someone else.

That someone slumped down on the bed next to her, letting his finger be squeezed by the fussy infant.

"You- you guys should go. Abigail needs to eat, and...I bet the commander wants to know where you are."

"Yeah." Eren and Mikasa stood up, looking to the other for guidance on how to end the increasingly awkward encounter.

It was Mikasa who spoke up.

"Armin. Come see us later. We miss you." She smiled at him, before taking Eren's hand and leading him out of the cell, their son still resting on her hip.

"..." Annie took in a deep breath, closing her eyes for the moment, if only to clear her head and relax her nerves. She could feel Abigail squirm in the blanket, and pulled down the collar of her nightgown as she had so many times the past couple days, giving Abby what she needed as best as she could.

She looked up, and saw something she hadn't expected; blue eyes meeting hers. Armin, not turned away, but with increasingly red cheeks as their gazes lingered.

He turned his head, in time to miss the upturned corner of her lip.

He was blushing just as he did the first time their eyes ever locked, lingered, across a training ground in Trost what seemed like so many years ago.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **WOW I REALLY AM SO SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT. Though I'm sure anyone who's in college and taken finals understands. They really kill the writing mojo. I do hope you enjoy! Comments questions and the like encouraged. 3**

 **-Katie**


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